All the lies I've told you- and some truths I kept

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All the lies I've told you- and some truths I kept

Published by on September 20th.

No, not the lies I have told the reader. I've chosen to be honest and truthful on here, partly because there is no real life kickback. This is dedicated to all the lies I told my ex girlfriend, when we were together. It exists as a confession, a catharsis if you like. Maybe I'll show this to her someday, send her this text. God knows I don't want anyone in my real life finding this blog. I like to think that everyone I know still believes the lies I tell about myself, and my actions. As you'll realise, I'm changing up my stylistic choices today; writing this to her.

You asked me when I first had an interest in you. Truth be told, I didn't until you told me that you had an interest in me. I panicked and lied, because I knew you were worried about me being interested only because you were. I told you a date far in the past, when we went out and had some breakfast together. This lead me into one of the rare truths. You seemed to think that I wasn't single then. Around that time, I had a pretty messy breakup, which to this day I don't remember the timing of. You never believed that though. Not suprising, considering how much I lied to you.

You didn't believe that I had no moral issues with things. I lied and said that I had an issue with uncommitted sex, because I only had sex for love. You'd made it clear that you felt the same, and I believed (correctly I think) that you'd not want to be together, should the truth come out. I lied and said that all of the uncommitted sex I've had before was a mistake, that I was upset it happened. To this day, I don't care. I don't love. I don't care about people, or feelings. In addition, I lied to you about what I wanted to say to apologise to your parents, for getting you home late. I apologised for how I felt, and what I thought I did wrong, not what you thought I should say. I lied every time I said I loved you. (this is a kind of half lie. Although I didn't, I truly believed that what I experienced was love)

I lied when I said you were smart. You are incredibly hardworking, but you lack the ability to pick up something and learn it easily. You can memorise things, and take notes all you want. But, you are not smart.

I lied when I said that you were good at some things. If I send this, I'll leave these parts out. You don't need to know this.

I lied when I supported some of your decisions. I thought they were stupid, and illogical. However much I thought that, I respected the decisions, and I didn't try to stop you doing anything.

That wraps up this post. Another coming shortly about my look on the world

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