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Published by on October 29th 2021.

Well, today has been pretty jam packed.

One of my closest highschool friends had a party for Halloween, to which I wasn't invited. Not a huge suprise, as I haven't spoken to her in a month or so. But it is still a little disappointing. When I found out, I decided to try be the bigger person- I took over some spare drinks I had and left them outside. All of my friends are there right now, and only one of them mentioned it to me- so they obviously knew about it and just chose not to say anything. One of my friends is thinking about coming over after that party, so that might be nice.

I had work today, 3 deaths. My most recent one was a middle aged man who was dead for a few weeks, in the heat that's been running rampant in my city. He was totally rotted- maggots everywhere, eyes liquifying and dripping out of his skull, the smell of decomposition. He was about 100kg (210lbs) and carrying him down the stairs was a difficult task. I had to laugh at the hyperbole of my friends all partying while I carry a rotting corpse around.

In my country, automatic cars are more common, so I only have an automatic licence. I have been learning manual driving, and one of my coworkers has been giving me lessons. I drove his car a few times today, and I think that I did pretty well. It's fun learning, and getting better with my clutch control.

I've also been watching the PGL counterstrike major. Mouz are currently leading BIG 3-2 on the third map- hoping for them to win.

I think that I'm so irritated with not being invited because it signifies a lack of control for me- I want to always be in control. I've been feeling better by trying to look at the bigger picture- remembering that my night is pretty good regardless, and that if I didn't know about the party I would be feeling pretty good.

My ex girlfriend has been seeking affection, in a pretty toxic way. A little bipolar, but I'm trying to weather the storm and just be a good person to her.

I hope you guys are going well- if anyone wants to have a chat, feel free to dm me :-)

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