Scunkie! Scunkie! Scunkie!

Published by cdl on February 27th 2013.

Eh, who needs buttons?

ME! That's who! lol...

You may ask why.. why do you need buttons Candy?
Well, I will tell you why.
I have plans, Big Plans, you see!
My Big Plans require lots and lots of buttons!

Ah-ha, Big Button Plans for me!
I am sure it probably would be impractical as well as illegal to actually attempt to rob that wonderful wandering button gnome, Scunkie, though I must say I have been tempted!

I have caught my mind wandering from time to time dreaming up devious plots and plans to relieve the gnome of his obviously heavy burden of buttons.

I could jump him from on high getting the drop on him before he even knew what had befallen him!

I could don a scary disguise and run out from the bush causing him to run off in haste fleeing for the hills!

I could commandeer a huge bird and swoop down snatching the button bag from his grip in no time flat!

I could bribe thugs to do the dirty deed for me!

I could throw a bucket of mud on his head and shove him in a pond!

To have all those wondrous buttons, such a delight my eyes would see!

Chances are I would be caught, then where would I be?!
Surely I would never want to be caught in any of these activities, that would be such a perplexing predicament indeed!

Just imagine the shame of being locked up, probably in that covered gnome wagon, for trying to rob such a feeble old gnome!
Little gnome children would throw rotten fruit at me!

I could even loose my button collecting rights!
I might even be sold into gnome servitude!
Oh my, indentured servitude to all the gnomes!
And all my buttons given away to pay for the crime!
I'd probably be forced to make buttons for all of you!
That just won't do!!

Oh yes, plans... Big Plans!
Illogical as it may be, I long to hold double of all I see!
It simply is not right, I know. I want to own two of everything for security!
It is shameful. I agree.
But what else can I do since Scunkie just won't give his buttons to me!

I toil nearly every other day to earn a few here and there tirelessly laboring over comment boxes and rating stars, checking hotspots and fine lines alike but it is always the same no matter what I do!
A mere handful of buttons is all I get for my trouble and again I want double!!

You can help! There is something you can do!
Answer my plea, do not forsake me!
Kindly donate all your buttons only to ME!
That would indeed be something to see!

Buttons galore all for ME!
Ha-ha-he-he!
No, seriously! Send one or forty-three!
I beg of you on my knee!
To my happiness you hold the key!
Your buttons I'll take with no need to flee!
Fill my heart with glee!